As a young married man, I often found worry about bills and things going on at work had my stomach in a knot and was keeping me awake at night. I knew what Jesus taught about worry; “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life – whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27) It wasn’t until God showed me that most of the things I worried about never even happened and the rest were not as bad as I had imagined them to be, that the enemy lost that tool against me.
Fast forward to now. I am not worrying about tomorrow, but the enemy has found new ways to “worry” me. He is what my grandparents would call a “worry wart”. He easily frustrates me when things don’t go as planned. It began when my laptop started acting up every time I tried to write; as it is doing somewhat right now. It zooms in and out, opens other apps and pop ups to try to break my train of thought and then keeps closing my word document forcing me to save and then reopen it.
Saturday morning we stopped by my ATM on the way to our breakfast meeting and my friend saw me put my wallet back in my pocket. When I got ready to pay my bill the wallet was nowhere to be found. I was in a state of panic. Not only did my Christian brother have to pay for my meal, all of my cards and IDs are in the wallet along with the cash. I had an appointment with a VA doctor Monday and knew I would need my ID card. We looked everywhere and no one had turned it in. I had planned to pick up some groceries on the way home but now I arrived home in deep despair instead. I franticly prayed for God to help me find it somehow. I had worn my sweat pants that morning and unbeknown to me, my waistband had slipped down in the back climbing into my friend’s Tahoe, so when we thought I stuffed my wallet in my pocket, I was actually stuffing it in my waist band. When I stood to get out of the vehicle I straightened my waist band and the wallet slid down to the elastic at the bottom of my pant leg unnoticed during the transfer to my walker. In the bathroom at home, I looked down and there it was at the bottom of my pant leg. My brother in Christ came back, did a grocery run for me and kept out what he paid for my breakfast.
I’m sharing this personal, embarrassing story with you because it taught this old man a new lesson that is worth sharing. Worry isn’t just about the future. It is also about our reaction to those worrisome situations that are happening right now. It isn’t about computers or sweat pants either. It is all about my first reaction to adversity. I could tell myself that I’m just getting impatient and cranky in my old age, but my Abba (Daddy) isn’t buying that for a second. He showed me my first reactions of frustration and anxiety are a sign that I’m not trusting fully in Him for a satisfactory outcome regardless of the seemingly flawed process. My FIRST reaction should have been prayer that computer glitches are not going to stop me from writing what the Holy Spirit has prompted me to write. Saturday, I should have immediately prayed, “Lord, you know where my wallet is and I trust you to return it to me.” I would have saved myself a great deal of anxiety and emotional pain. My new favorite verse is, “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” (Philippians 4:6)