The Old Man in the Back of the Sanctuary

I want to share one more post about lessons God has taught me during my battle with the Covid virus. The first lesson is how important it is to have Christian friends or family close around you to keep you accountable and look after your wellbeing. I was grateful for the wonderful people God has placed in my life, especially after my wife died, but they literally saved my life by getting me to the hospital in time. The virus seemed mild to me, but the more serious effects were visible to them and they knew I needed immediate medical help. I was so weak that I have no memory of most of the two weeks in the hospital. I don’t remember even one of the many tests they ran on me. I don’t even remember several phone conversations I had with one of my friends about those tests. I know they found a blood clot in one of my legs, but I have no idea how they discovered it. I have never had a blackout like that before and I pray I never have another one. Always thank God for the Christiian people He has put in your life and never ignore their observations, whether it is about your physical or spiritual wellbeing.

I wrote about another lesson in my first post after getting back home. It is taking one day at a time; letting God proceed to guide or heal you at His pace.  His timing is always perfect. Don’t fret about the past or worry about the future; just take things as they come today and obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Your life can change in an instant, so don’t ever take things or people for granted. Nothing takes God by surprise, so stay close to Him in prayer and worship.

Being completely away from my home life for five weeks, I was anxious to get back, but what I returned to was one problem after another. My home phone, TV and internet connection that are bundled were all shut off for nonpayment of two bills that arrived while I was gone. My other utilities were behind but not shut off. My mail had not been checked and delivery was halted and on top of that I couldn’t find my mail box key. When my mail was picked up by a friend, there was a letter from VA saying I made too much money in 2020 for benefits, but did not specify what benefits. (It turned out to only be transportation to the hospital, which was covered by Medicare instead.) There was also a bill from a doctor at the hospital for $830.00. (That was also covered by Medicare) God and my friends helped me tackle one of them at a time until they were all resolved without me returning to the hospital with a nervous breakdown. God taught me it is not just one day at a time, but one thing at a time.

Friday morning my brothers in Christ and I resumed our weekly breakfast fellowship. I missed it and my blog even more than I imagined and it is so good to have both of them in my life once again. It reminded me how important fellowship with others is to a healthy Christian life. The old saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” really rings true for me right now. It is so good to be in my home and feeling healthy again.

Whatever you face, face it with God at His pace with His timing. He will never let you down         

The rehab center where I was placed for three weeks of rehabilitation is also a nursing home so the others in physical therapy with me were all around my age, but of course I felt like the youngster of the group. That is until one evening as I watched TV in my room and I felt cold. I asked for a blanket to put around me. There I sat in a wheelchair wrapped in a blanket and I thought, “Am I that old?” The answer from God was clear, “Yes you are my child. Why do you ask?”

Don’t get me wrong, getting old doesn’t bother me. It is the side effects of aging that are the irritation. My body gets older and begins to wear out, but my spirit and mind are still young and energetic. You look at me and you see an old man with bad knees, but inside I’m still that eleven year old boy who gave my life to Jesus. I’m still that young airman at the altar watching my beautiful bride come down the aisle with her father. I’m still the energetic man who has served my Lord and walked with Him throughout my life In spite of my limitations now.

I read some time ago that when an elderly person dies, a library of information is burned to the ground and lost. I have determined that I don’t want to let that happen in my case. I write this blog to share with you all that I’ve learned from others and from my own personal experience so it is not lost. I want younger Christians to know what I know about God as a result of my personal relationship with Him through Jesus Christ. I want to share it all with you including the good and bad; my mistakes and my victories; trials and temptations and God’s eternal grace and love that have brought me through this life so far.

One of my favorite passages of scripture that describes aging children of God is found in Psalms 92:14. “Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green.”

The old man is back after two weeks in the hospital and three weeks in rehab for Covid Omicron. My symptoms seemed so mild that dehydration and/or low blood sugar sneaked up on me and almost took me out before I knew what hit me. Fortunately my friends saw my weakening condition and got me to the hospital in time. That variant seems to affect each person differently. It seems like everyone I talk to who have had it have had different symptoms.

 After five years of posting twice a week, I have really missed sharing with you these past five weeks and I hope you have missed my blog too. My recovery is definitely the result of the prayers that have gone out for me across this country and around the world and God’s quick answer to them. Because my friends have shared my blog and my situation with their brothers and sisters in Christ, I know at least five churches that I have never set a foot in have been praying for my recovery. Even if I didn’t know about it, I have felt those prayers every step of my recovery. God isn’t done with me yet and I feel stronger and healthier now than I did before I got sick.

I had to fight my natural instinct to try to rush things. Instead, I put it on God’s perfect timing. He reminded me of a song Christy Lane released in 1981. Every night in the hospital and rehab I sang these words and it helped me sleep peacefully.
“I’m only human. I’m just a man. Help me believe in what I can be and all that I am. Show me the stairway I have to climb. Lord for my sake teach me to take one day at a time. One day at a time sweet Jesus, that’s all I’m asking of you. Teach me today, show me the way, what I have to do. Yesterday’s gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine, so for my sake teach me to take one day at a time. Do you remember when you walked among men? Jesus you know, if you’re looking below, it’s worse now than then. Pushing and shoving, crowding my mind, Lord for my sake teach me to take one day at a time. One day at a time sweet Jesus that’s all I’m asking of you. Give me the strength to do every day what I have to do. Yesterday’s gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine, so for my sake teach me to take one day at a time.”      

This will be my shortest blog in five years. Covid has invaded my home. Ironically, it was a caregiver who exposed me before testing positive. Then he isolated for fifteen days. Then word spread to other caregivers who declined service, I have never felt so isolated and helpless in my own home, except for one beautiful angel of mercy who fearlessly continues to provide service for me.

This past Tuesday a doctor finally tested me for covid and as I feared, I am Covid positive. But my angel was negative. The precautions I have been taking are working so far. The doctor is coming again next week to retest us both. The symptoms are very mild, but the fear is still in most people’s mind. The new variant is no more serious than the common cold, but it is very contagious. The doctor believes it will no longer be contagious after ten days. He is not concerned about my health  at all. Hopefully, I will get back to posting again very soon, In the meantime please keep me in your prayers.    

Success can be a very allusive goal. When you get to where you think success is found, you may find it isn’t as satisfying as it appeared and other people will rate your success differently than you do; raising the bar for success even higher.  Some of the most successful people in the entertainment world are the most miserable. They think that one more major project, one more award, will finally satisfy them; but it doesn’t. Successful business executives with huge incomes continue to search for one more deal that will give them the satisfaction they seek, but they eventually discover the ladder to success is an unending climb.   

I have found over the years that happiness is a much better goal than success. It is also much easier to find because it is something that you can develop within you; not dependent on others. I saw a post on Face Book recently that was a photo of a family farm with the caption, “The happiest people are not the ones who have everything. The happiest people are the ones who appreciate everything they have.” Dale Carnegie put it this way, “Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.” 

I have written before about the “pursuit of happiness” mentioned in our Declaration of Independence. It really doesn’t take much pursuing. All you have to do is count your blessings; write each of them down and concentrate on all that God has done for you. You will suddenly discover your happiness has been hiding behind your gratitude all along. Gratitude is a very strong emotion that drives out all sorts of negativity from our lives.

As children of God, we have a head start toward happiness because of the joy that comes with our newly born spirit and God’s mercy and grace.  If we stop expecting others to make us happy and allow God to produce happiness within us, we will be free to share our happiness with everyone around us. The best feeling of happiness is being happy because you have madde someone else happy.  Success without fulfillment is the worst form of failure; but true happiness is the best form of success.

Another year is coming to an end. A friend told me he intends to actually stay up until midnight on December 31^st this year; not to welcome the New Year, but to make sure this one is over. In many ways 2021 hasn’t been much better than 2020. I’m not as pessimistic as my friend. I know that as long as God is in control of my life, I will make it through whatever the enemy or the world throw at me.

I am making a drastic change in my New Year’s resolution list for 2022,  Instead of concentrating on my physical appearance and health, I intend to concentrate on my spiritual health. It might be because of the predictions that the rapture and Jesus’ return are at hand; or it might just be because my age puts me closer to the end than the beginning of my life.  I tend to believe it is neither of those reasons. I simply believe the Holy Spirit has witnessed my holiday diet and we both know increased exercise is never going to happen with these bad knees. He has decided I should work to improve something that I can have a positive effect on. Anyway, in the words of an old country song, “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it”.

The first, and most important, thing on my list is to continue writing this blog for another year, Lord willing. I get such a spiritual uplift as God gives me a topic; guides my fingers on the keyboard as I write about it and then helps me edit it before posting. God has given me a gift of communication and called me to share that gift and my Christian experiences with you.

The next thing is have a more structured prayer life. I am in an out of prayer all day long so it isn’t that I need to pray more, just in a more structured way. There will still be the usual “fox hole” prayes, “Help me Lord.” As I am about to stand to get on my walker; followed by “Thank you Lord” when I arrive at my intended destination. When I receive a prayer request from my pastor or our church office, I will continue to drop whatever I’m doing and pray for that need.  I do want to spend more time in prayer at the beginning and end of each day.

I plan to sign up for another through the Bible in a year app. This will be my third time through the entire Bible; not counting the research I do for my blog. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of reading and applying God’s word to your daily Christian life.

Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Keep them simple and important this year. If you keep the list short you will have a much better chance of keeping them. Just don’t forget the health and well-being of that newly born spirit God gave you when you first believed in Christ.       

Today is the day after Christmas. I pray that everyone reading this had a wonderful birthday party for our Lord. Yes, feasting, laughing and exchanging gifts, but also taking time to thank God for His eternal gift to us that we celebrate at this time each year. Is December 25^th really the day Jesus was born? There are many scholars who think it might have been in the fall instead. I don’t think it matters one bit. What really does matter is that we spend one day each year to celebrate and commemorate His birth.

Every human conception and birth is a miracle of God’s creation. The miracles of Jesus’ conception and birth are unique and particularly miraculous. He was conceived in the womb of a virgin by the Holy Spirit. His DNA is at once heir of King David, son of Mary and the eternal Son of God. A third century scholar of scripture described the appropriate symbolism of the gifts of the Magi. “There is gold, for a king; myrrh, for someone who is mortal; and incense, for God.”  Jesus possessed all of those qualities from birth. His body is 100% human, while his mind and spirit are 100 % God. He is truly King of kings and Lord of lords. Thousands of times in history an infant has become a king, but only once has a King become an infant.

I can remember about 74 of the 78 Christmas Days since my birth. Ironically, the one that is etched in my memory as clearly as the one I just celebrated is the one when I was nine years old. It was soon after our home burned to the ground destroying  everything we owned except our car, the clothes we were wearing and a bookcase which was he only thing the  firemen were able to get out before it collapsed. I don’t remember what we ate or drank that Christmas. I don’t even remember gifts, if there were any. What I do remember is feeling the true meaning of Christmas for the first time with my family as we thanked God for sparing my mother and me from the flames. Life took precedence that year over presents and feasting; not only our lives, but the life of Jesus, who would become my Savior just two years later.         

As we commemorate the birth of Jesus with nativity scenes depicting Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, shepherds, wise men (who actually came later)  animals in the stable; and even angels celebrating from above; let us never forget the deity of that infant. Mary delivered Jesus and then He delivered us! 

Christmas is only a few days away. Every year we are reminded to be kind to everyone we meet because “the most wonderful time of the year” is the saddest, most difficult time of the year for many people. I think it is even worse when a loved one dies on or near the holiday and that sad memory becomes a part of every Christmas after that. It is also very difficult to get through your first Christmas without someone you love. This is my seventh Christmas without Carol and there is still a piece missing as I celebrate the birth of my Savior. I fill that empty gap with fond memories of all of the Christmas holidays we shared together.

What triggered this blog topic was a social media post by a good friend of mine from church. She is single and she described how every Christmas she would enjoy a wonderful day with her family, then go home with sadness to her empty home without a family and holiday traditions of her own. This is her description of why this year is different. “This year, the more I have focused on Advent: the expectation and excitement of the coming of Jesus, it has made this season WAY different. I think this applies if you’re sad about a lot of things….Can’t gift the way you like, that burden I believe will really lift in you re-program yourself to reflect, pray, read and rejoice on what Christmas is really about. God still knows the deep down desire that you don’t have to hide or be ashamed about. You’re tired of something turning into nothing. Some people have been single a couple of years, but some have been spending this holiday alone for decades….with a gentle heart I ask, can He get the shine through? Can we reflect on what this season means so we’re not burdened with the commercial view of this season?”

Although my wife and I had each other to share Christmas each year, we always felt a void because we had no children to share it with. Now I wonder if my legs were strong and I had children and grandchildren if I would dedicate my time to serving God with this blog the way I do. The Apostle Paul was single. He wished everyone was free to serve God as he was, but he also understood that others are called to marry and raise children. (See 1 Corinthians 7:6-9)

My friend and I are discovering when your full attention is on God and serving Him, wonderful blessings will crowd out sadness and self-pity. Gratitude for the blessings we have will replace regret for what we don’t have. The true joy of the Christian life is we are never alone. If someone planted a microphone in my townhome, they would swear I was talking to a roommate whose voice could not be picked up by the microphone. Those people would be absolutely correct!

I read an interesting statement today. “Being wanted feeds the ego, being valued feeds the soul.” Knowing the person who wrote that, as I do, I think he was comparing physical attraction with love. Certainly, my wife and I were physically attracted to each other, but it was the way we valued each other with love that got us through fifty years together.

 I also think it goes far deeper than that for Christians. God not only loves us and wants us to be His children; He shows the high value He places on us by sending His true Son to die in our place so we can have direct contact with Him; walking and talking with us as He did with Adam in the Garden. This poem by Myra Brooks Welch illustrates the different ways that humans and God value someone and the way God has adds value to our lives.

Twas battered and scarred and the auctioneer thought it hardly worth his while

To waste his time on the old violin, but he held it up with a smile,

“What am I bid good folks?” he cried. “Who’ll start the bidding for me?

A dollar, a dollar, who’ll make it two? Two dollars and who’ll make it three?

Three dollars once. Three dollars twice. Going for three -’ but no.

From the room far back a gray haired man came forward and picked up the bow.

Wiping the dust from the old violin and tightening the loose strings

He played a melody pure and sweet as a caroling angel sings.

When the music ceased, the auctioneer in a voice that was quiet and low

Said, “What am I bid for this old violin?”  and he held it up with the bow.

“A thousand dollars and who’ll make it two? Two thousand and who’ll make it three?

Three thousand once, three thousand twice, going and gone” said he.

The people cheered, but some of them cried, “We don’t understand

What changed its worth?” Quick came the reply, “The touch of the master’s hand.”

Many a man with life out of tune, battered and scarred by sin,

Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin.

A mess of potage, a glass of wine, a game and he travels on.

He’s going once. He’s going twice. He’s going and almost gone.

But the Master comes and the foolish crowd never can quite understand

The worth of a soul or the change that is wrought by the touch of the Master’s hand.

Do you feel valued by God and by those closest to you? More importantly, do you value them with your words and your actions?

A Face Book friend, who is several years older than I am, announced he has now been cancer free for seven years after being treated for stage four lung cancer. As he celebrated the good news with us, he couldn’t help but wonder why God has given him these extra years while so many others have not been that fortunate. It brought back my search for purpose after my wife of fifty years died.

I’ve read about “survivor guilt” when someone is the sole survivor of a plane crash, natural disaster or the only one left of their platoon during war. They struggle with the questions “Why me? Why am I still alive and others aren’t?” Those are questions only God can answer. As born again followers of Jesus Christ, my friend and I go to Him for the answer. Although our quest might seem most urgent to us, I think it is a question we all struggle with at some time in our life – a search for purpose. Mark Twain once said, “The two greatest days in a person’s life are the day they are born and the day they find out why.”

I told my friend that my favorite statement is, “I am old and wise because God protected me when I was young and foolish.” I haven’t had cancer, like he has, but when I was 12 our family doctor misdiagnosed a disease that would have killed me if God had not provided a young doctor who knew what was wrong and how to treat it. There are five other times in my life that I know God has protected me from death or serious injury. No telling how many times He has saved me from dangers I wasn’t even aware of. All I know is that God isn’t finished yet with my friend or with me and if we look for ways to share God’s love with kind acts and a servant’s heart, He will continue to provide us with opportunities. 

We want God to show us our purpose because we are goal oriented creatures. We want to know what our end objective is, and then we will work to reach it. I read a few years ago about a man who asked God, “What is the purpose of my life?” God replied, “What if I told you it is that hour you spent discussing life with that boy? What if I told you it.is paying for that young couple’s meal at the restaurant? What if I told you it is saving that dog in traffic or helping that old woman across the street? What if I told you it is holding the door open for that stranger with a smile and wishing them a good day? Everything you do with love has purpose.” You see, God knows His purpose and the end result, but He wants us to concentrate on the process. His process involves love and service. Those are the things that apply His purpose to our life and that is the only purpose that will matter in the end.