A friend shared a straight forward, beautifully illustrated post on Face Book that he believes in the Biblical definition of marriage; between a man, woman and God. I was ready to like it and scroll on when I read a comment from a woman that read, “Seems to me, whether one is gay, lesbian, trans, straight, etc. God will judge them. I feel for those who have taken it upon themselves to judge. That is a major undertaking. Thank God, I was not approached to take it on. By the way, of all sins mentioned in the Bible, which one is the no brainier you’re going to hell? Seems to me Jesus hung out with some pretty shady characters to minister to them.”
I found it hard to believe that a declaration of faith was found to be judgmental. The Holy Spirit would not let me pass that up. I told her that Jesus did not condone or participate in the life style of those “shady characters”. Then I explained to her the huge difference between warning someone of God’s judgment and being personally judgmental. I concluded that Jesus affirmed that definition of marriage. She retorted, “Jim Anderson He also affirmed no selling items in the synagogue. I doubt he condoned cheating on your wife, lying, oogling over a woman…I could go on. I just think we need to clean up our lives before we cast our stones. Any sin is condemned!” That hit a nerve and I let her know that in over 50 years of marriage, I was never unfaithful to my wife, even in my heart, and that I’m still faithful four years after her death; because when love lasts over half a century it doesn’t die with your spouse. I told her I never have claimed to be perfect, but I don’t want anyone to face the judgment I faced before I gave my heart to Christ. She seemed surprised that I took her comment personally. She told me she meant it to be a general statement, but we both knew she was trying to paint me and all evangelical Christians as hypocrites. I explained that her use of “your wife” in a comment that began with my name had misled me. I concluded, “Just like you mistaking a loving warning with judgment and condemnation.” She apologized again and we concluded our discussion on a very positive note. Not all such communications end that way.
When I was young, communication was mostly verbal. Inflection, tone and facial expression helped us understand the meaning of what was said. Now we just have the words on a screen. We shouldn’t be surprised when we are misunderstood. Even Jesus struggled to explain spiritual truths to Nicodemus, who was a religious leader. (John 3). I doubt if I changed that woman’s mind about “judge not” or “casting the first stone,” but I might have planted a seed that Christians don’t all pass judgment, but lovingly warn of God’s judgment. With God’s help that seed might grow into a more positive attitude toward evangelical Christians. Sometimes that is all we can do when they aren’t ready to accept the whole Truth that Christianity is not a religion, but it is a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.