It is February 15th, Carol’s birthday and the day after Valentine’s Day. Throughout our fifty years of marriage I always did my best to make it an annual two day celebration of my love for her. This is the third time that I have spent these two days without her. In her honor I want to share this brief article I wrote about love.
What is love? The dictionary definitions use words like feeling, affection, emotion and attraction, but if any or all of those words apply, then how can we stand before God at the altar and vow our love to our bride or groom “until death do us part”? Feelings, affections, emotions and attractions all fade or change over time. We can’t rely on them to remain strong and we can’t summon them back at will when they begin to fade. No wonder so many marriages end in divorce as their feelings change. I used to wonder if our love would stand the test of time under those conditions. It was our mutual love of God through Jesus Christ that held us together.
Carol and I often vacationed in Branson, Missouri. One summer, after we had celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary the previous December, we visited the Wilderness Church, a log chapel built in the Ozarks over 120 years ago. We noticed that you could sign up to renew your wedding vows and we thought that was something we would like to do. After we exchanged our promises to each other once again, that wise old parson asked us to promise him something. He said, “When you get back home, I want you to find a quiet spot and read the thirteenth chapter of I Corinthians together. We told him we would and we honored that promise. We read, “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Wow! There it is – a definition of love that we can vow to keep all of our lives because it is not a feeling, affection, emotion or attraction. It is a way of life that can become a permanent habit.
I was on my way to lunch after attending the noon service at CLC one Sunday. The words of one of the worship songs kept echoing in my mind; “I love you because you first loved me.” Then it hit me. I began to tie those words to that Biblical definition of love. I had read that passage again and again after we renewed our vows as a reminder of what my love as a husband should be. Now I see that it is also a definition of God’s love for us. Because he first loved us in that beautiful fashion, we can love Him that way too. Jesus orders us to love others with that same enduring love. “This is my command: Love each other,” (John 15:17) not just on birthdays or holidays but every day of the year.
By the way, that part in the wedding vows about “until death do us part”? Don’t believe it. Love doesn’t end just because one of you dies. It may not be as tangible as before, but it is still there as strong as ever.