I saw a quote the other day that hit too close to home. It read, “Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” I have never been a man of few words. That may be the reason I now rely so much on the Holy Spirit and other people for wisdom. My parents taught me at an early age that the reason I have one mouth and two ears is to remind me to listen twice as much as I speak; but by the time I was a teenager, I thought I had all of the answers and I was happy to share them with anyone who would listen. Unfortunately, that habit lasted well beyond my teen years.
In the New Testament we find; “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.” (James 1:19) Those are wise words from Jesus’ half-brother. (Mary gave birth to both, but Joseph was James’ natural father). I don’t know if he gained that wisdom from watching his perfect older brother growing up or if he learned it from the Holy Spirit when he accepted Jesus as his savior, but it is advice we all need to follow.
In the age in which we are living, it is common for us to spend the time while others are speaking to us thinking about what we are going to say next instead of paying close attention to them; especially if we disagree with what they are saying. So many simple conversations these days turn into heated debates as a result. When you attack someone’s beliefs or feelings, it comes across as a personal attack on them. As Christians, it is not our job to judge or accuse others; it is our job to love them.
I have learned to listen intently to the beliefs and feelings of others and then state my experiences, beliefs and feelings without attacking theirs. As a result, I have maintained friendships with people directly and on social media who have very different political and religious views than I do. We know our differences, but we don’t dwell on them. Instead, we discuss the areas of life where we find common ground.
How does that affect my testimony as a Christian? I know there is power in my personal testimony of what God has done in my life, but I also know that I cannot force anyone to believe as I do. It is, however, more likely that my testimony will have meaning for them as they get a glimpse of Jesus through the fruit of his Spirit within me. That can only happen if I remain in their life as a friend. Their relationship with God will always be (like yours and mine) a personal decision they must make.
Let us listen carefully to others and speak truthfully and lovingly without anger or hatred as the Spirit moves us.