It seems so strange to think about today, but until I was nine years old, my family lived in a rented farm house in rural Indiana and our telephone was on a “party line” with several neighbors. Each of us had a special ring that let us know the incoming call was for us. When making a call we never knew if we would get a dial tone or hear someone else on the line. Our neighbors were friendly, caring folks, but sometimes there is a fine line between being concerned and being nosy. I’m sure there were times when they picked up, covered the mouthpiece with their hand and listened in on the conversations. Whenever life wasn’t perfect my parents would wonder, “What will the neighbors think?”
God created us as social beings. We are not meant to live solitary lives, but sometimes the people in our life create challenges and questions. Just how much influence should they have on the way we live? Winston Churchill once said, “When you are 20 you care about what everyone thinks. When you are 40 you stop caring about what everyone thinks. When you are 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you.” While that is not true of everyone, it points out the fact that we often give not only what others think but even what we think they are thinking far too much control over our own thoughts and actions. On the other hand, Proverbs 15:22 tells us, “Plans go wrong for lack of advice. Many advisors bring success.” So the real questions are whom do we trust for advice? Which criticism is constructive and which is hateful or vindictive? Which praise is phony and which is sincere? Are we allowing the world to “squeeze us into its mold” when we pay too much attention to what others say or think? It gets complicated.
A woman who was celebrating her 104th birthday was asked what the best part of reaching that milestone was. Without hesitating, she replied, “No peer pressure!” The people we spend the most time with have a strong influence on us. Running with the wrong crowd will lead to temptation and sin. That is why it is important for a believer to connect with other believers in a local church and in smaller more intimate prayer/study groups. However, we can’t isolate ourselves in groups of likeminded believers and let the world go to hell (literally). We are called to love all of our neighbors and share our faith with them; to provide the light of Jesus Christ in a dark world. We must live in the world but not be of the world. Again, it is complicated.
There is only one answer to these dilemmas. God gives us the Holy Spirit to guide us through these types of complicated situations and spiritual minefields. With His help we can find wise counsel from family, friends and fellow believers. He teaches us to enjoy associating with non-believers without running with them and He shows us how to witness to them through our actions as well as our words – following Jesus’ perfect example. The Holy Spirit not only helps us identify sincere criticism and praise, but He shows us how to learn from the criticism and keep the praise from going to our head. When John Wimber received praise he used to say, “I’ll take the encouragement but I’ll pass the glory on.” I love encouragement, but I learned long ago to never take credit for what God is doing in my life. That glory and praise belong to Him alone.