I just have a little more personal stuff to share with you. It is Sunday evening and I just got back home after two days in the hospital. All of the activity last week that I wrote about Wednesday finally got to my old arthritic knees. When I started to get up Friday, I could not get out of the chair no matter how hard I tried. One of my Christian brothers came over to try to help me but I was too heavy for him to lift me up by himself and during the effort I slipped down to the carpet and he called the paramedics to help me back up in the chair. Later I found myself still unable to get out of the chair and another friend called the paramedics back to take me to the hospital ER.
They gave me a shot and some pills for the pain, took x-rays of both knees, an EKG to make sure my heart is OK and then put me on an IV and admitted me for observation. They pumped me full of liquids and steroids for one whole day. Then a physical therapist came in with a walker to get me out of bed. After a couple of attempts I was able to stand and make it to the chair and she worked with me on some exercises to strengthen my legs and knees. I sat in the chair for a while and then a nurse came in to help me back to bed, by way of the bathroom. By that time my legs were feeling better and stronger. The therapist checked me out again this morning and the orthopedic doctor cleared me to go home. When another friend brought me home, I used the walker and her cane to climb the three steps to my front door, but once inside my knees started to buckle and with difficulty I made it to my chair with confidence that it would not become my prison once more.
There is a reason I wanted to share this. When I was unable to get out of the chair, I felt so helpless and each time I would try to stand and fail my strength and confidence both were sorely tested. I prayed for God to help me stand, but instead he sent angels of mercy disguised as friends to get me the help I really needed. I was helpless, but I was never without hope. My problem wasn’t a lack of faith in God, but a loss of confidence in my body’s ability to stand and follow Him. He let me know one more time that He isn’t done with me yet.
Trust the Good Shepherd of Psalms 23. He will never leave or forsake you. He will lead and comfort you and get you the help you need to build up your confidence again when you feel helpless and trapped. Sometimes It isn’t a lack of faith that causes fear and anxiety. It is that we don’t trust ourselves to be able to walk with Him. His rod and his staff will give us the comfort and assurance we need. As long as there is breath in your body, God is not done with you yet!