I want to share with you a very personal experience this past weekend. Over breakfast Saturday two of my Christian brothers who I love deeply and who have proven their love for me, once again brought up their prayers for the healing of my arthritic knees and possible reasons I haven’t received it yet. They think there must be something within me that is blocking my healing. Since I know my faith and my relationship with God are strong, when this happens I feel like Job when his well-meaning friends assumed it was his sin that caused his miserable condition and like Job’s friends they don’t understand my defensiveness.
I’m no stranger to apparent unanswered prayer. My mother and I were baptized on the same day when I was 12. About one year later she was diagnosed with leukemia and less than six months after that she was dead in spite of her prayers for healing, the prayers of my father and me, and the prayers of our entire church. My parents even traveled to a healing service by Oral Roberts to no avail. The one thing I know for sure is that it wasn’t my mother’s lack of faith that kept her from being healed.
When I got home Saturday I spent time in prayer asking God if there really is something within me that is blocking the healing of my knees. He spoke directly to my heart, “You know better than that! How many times have I told you that my grace is sufficient for you? Our relationship has become stronger these last six years than ever before. You know I healed your sciatic nerve pain when it got too much for you to bear. I gave you the love and support of your brothers and sisters in Christ when you needed them the most. I meet your needs. I give you words to write. Like an earthly father, when my child asks for something I may answer yes, not now or no. You know that I have answered yes to most of your prayers. I am concerned with your spiritual well being and I know what is best for you in the present and your future. Each of my children has been created uniquely, so my answer may be different to each of them when they pray for healing or extended life on earth. Never compare yourself to anyone else. You are special in my sight. Just don’t challenge my authority the way Job did. You don’t need to know the reason for my actions. I’m not just looking out for you. Your faith, in spite of your struggle with your limitations, is touching more people than you know and giving them encouragement and hope. Just keep calling on me and I will walk with you and keep you from falling.”
Many people feel that beginning a prayer for healing with “If it be your will,” is a sign of doubt. They think you should just stand on God’s word and command healing in Jesus’ name. They site verses like Matthew 7:8, “For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” Jesus taught us to pray that God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven. It is in that context that all prayers should be offered. He said if we have faith like a tiny mustard seed we could move mountains, but if it is not His will, those mountains won’t budge. He is in control whether we acknowledge His will or not. Proverbs 16:3 says, “We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall.” When we pray through the Holy Spirit, our prayers will always be in agreement with God’s will. “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” (Romans 8:26-27 emphasis is mine) May God’s will be done in your life and in mine.