Some believers think doubt is the opposite of faith, but doubt is actually faith that is still under construction. The true opposite of faith is fear. My favorite young pastor recently preached that what we fear tells us where our faith is weakest. I want to share with you an encounter I had with fear last year.
Since I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior I have not been a fearful person. I have lived in confidence of God’s protection. Something happened that shook my world and allowed fear into my life. I normally leave the low-watt light on over the stove as a night light. I came home one day to find that light was out so I changed the bulb, but it was still out. Then I noticed the microwave and coffee maker were not working so I figured it must be a thrown breaker switch. I carefully took one step at a time down the stairs to the basement and reset the breaker. As I climbed those steep stairs one step at a time pushing up with my cane and pulling myself up with the handrail I finally got to the next to last step and my leverage was running out on the handrail. As I stepped up with my right foot pushing with my cane my left knee began to buckle and I quickly stepped back down. I decided to turn around and sit on the top step for a few minutes before trying again. While sitting there I watched my cane slide all the way to the bottom of the steps. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry (I think I did a little of each) before beginning to earnestly pray, “Lord, I need to go back down and get my cane so I can make it to the top. Please help me.” I stood up and began to slowly edge down one step at a time with only the handrail for support this time. I got to the bottom and once more began the slow climb. When I got to the next to last step again I asked God to give me the boost I needed to make it to the top and I made it this time. The light was on and all was well, but the panic I experienced on the stairs was still with me. Fear leaves an opening in our defenses and the enemy seeks to take full advantage of it.
I have struggled with arthritic knees for many years but my balance has always been great so I never even thought about falling. Shortly after the episode on the stairs, I began to get light-headed when standing or raising up after stooping down. Each time I got dizzy fear of falling began to grip me. My battle with fear was on. I knew deep down that God was with me but I needed His assurance. Sometimes scripture jumps off of the page at you. My daily devotion included Isaiah 35:3-4: “With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those with fearful hearts ‘Be strong and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you.’” On top of that, words from a Southern Gospel song seemed to shout to me as I listened to a CD in the car. “Didn’t I rush to your rescue? Didn’t I hear you when you called? I walked right beside you just so you wouldn’t fall.” I also recalled the old English proverb, “Fear knocked at my door – faith answered and no one was there.”
Praise God! With those encouraging words of assurance, my faith was strengthened and the dizziness disappeared. My battle with fear has ended in victory, but I know the enemy will continue to test my defenses. My confidence has returned, but I’m not foolhardy. If anything needs to happen in the basement from now on I will call someone for help.