With racial and political unrest and stereotyping in the news, I dug out this old article I wrote some years ago. I think it still has application today.
I have discovered something that I call the “Exception to the Rule Syndrome”. It happens when we accept a stereotype and then meet a person from that group who does not fit. I first encountered it in 1995, when I was a pest control trainer and I was asked to fill in for a sick technician in the far northwest suburbs of Chicago. The area was unfamiliar to me. One customer on that route was a tavern in a small town. I introduced myself and began to perform the service. They had Oprah on TV and the customers and bar owner were making derogatory comments. I had not heard the “N” word used like that since growing up in the 1950s in southern Indiana. Knowing that the regular technician was black, I wondered how in the world he could work in such a hostile environment. In between expletives the owner pointed out where Willie usually treats and reminded me to go down in the cellar like Willie always does. As the owner was signing my service ticket he asked if Willie would be back next month and I told him that he should be. He was very pleased and couldn’t stop praising Willie and his good work. Even one of the customers chimed in, “He is a good guy.” That technician was obviously the only black person with whom they had personal contact. As they got to know him they saw he didn’t fit their racial stereotype. Rather than set aside their prejudice they simply decided he was an exception to the rule.
I have found myself the exception to the rule too. As trainer for a truly equal opportunity employer, young black men and women starting a new career would be uneasy to find that an old white guy with a slight southern drawl would determine their fate. Within two days of training they knew I wanted them to succeed and by the time they completed their five weeks of training I considered them friends. I am still in contact with many of them, but I’m sure some of them still consider me an exception to the old white guy rule.
All stereotypes are false. God created us as unique individuals, so no group of people are the same even though they may have one characteristic in common. Our nation has become more and more divided along racial, religious and political lines. It is natural for us to associate with those with whom we feel most comfortable, but the less contact we have with people of different races, political ideology or religious beliefs, the easier it is for us accept false stereotypes about them.
The solution is simple. We must integrate ourselves into society and interact with everyone with whom we come into contact putting aside all preconceived notions about them. There will always be an occasional idiot in any group (If you don’t find one in your own group you might check a mirror.), but the more people we get to know the more we will realize that we have a lot more in common than we thought. We all want a peaceful society in which to live and raise a family, but that will only happen if we join together to make it a reality. It will never happen as long as we continue to name call and hurl insults at each other across the chasms that currently divide us. Getting to know many individuals personally from different backgrounds is the only way to explode stereotypes and get to the truth about those with whom we differ – truth that will set us free from every prejudice. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. so correctly stated, “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools”.