What is happiness? How do we attain it? Our Declaration of Independence mentions “the pursuit of happiness”. Some people seem to pursue happiness their entire life and never possess it. I recently ran across this quote by Robert Holden that describes that type of pursuit: “Beware of destination addiction: The idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, or even with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.” So, unhappiness can actually become a state of mind. A mindset that reasons, “If only I had what that person has, I could be happy”.
There are some problems with that mindset. Things aren’t always what they seem on the surface. That lush green lawn on the neighbor’s side of the fence may turn out to be Astroturf covering a bare and ugly yard; their car and home might be heavily financed; or they might not be happy at all. Some people are adept at putting on a show for others that hides their misery. If they are happy, the source may be an intangible that is not connected to what you see. No, seeking the happiness of others is not the way to find happiness in your life.
What about holidays or celebrations? We wish our friends and family a happy New Year, merry Christmas, happy Easter and happy birthday. We celebrate with them when our favorite sports team wins. There is happiness in celebrating, but it is only temporary. What about the time between holidays, birthdays and victories? We are getting closer to the answer, but we aren’t quite there yet.
If unhappiness can be a state of mind, can’t happiness also be a state of mind? I am so thankful that with God’s help I was able, as a young Christian, to flip “destination addiction” into “happiness addiction”. I think happiness addiction might be what the Apostle Paul was referring to when he wrote: “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.” (Philippians 4:11) The happiness of others makes me happy – not envious. I experience happiness whenever I can make another person smile and feel happy. I found happiness in my job by striving to make my coworkers and boss successful and happy. But most of all, I found true happiness in my marriage by making my wife happy instead of relying on Carol to be responsible for my happiness. I have found that when Christians love others as Christ loves us, happiness will pursue us and find us.