I have had neither the privilege nor the responsibility of raising a child so you might think this blog post about doing so will be very short. It might be hard to believe, but I was a child once and I have observed parents (including my own) doing their best. A friend once told me, “Most of parenting is getting mad at your kids for being just like you.”
Taking care of a child’s physical needs and making them feel loved is the foundation of good parenting, but it is also important to set boundaries for their protection. No matter how “childproof” your home might be there will still be no-nos. That enticing, dancing blue flame on the gas range is one example. “No-No! Don’t Touch! Hot!” Then as the child gets older and more independent, they push the boundary you have set and discipline is needed. Disciplining a child in our modern society is a little trickier than it was when I was young. “Experts” tell parents that spanking or even smacking a child’s hand will teach them violent behavior and harm their self-image. I only remember being spanked twice as a child. After that, one stern look from my mom reminded me of my boundaries. I think I straightened up for her sake as much as for mine. I knew how much she hated spanking me. The only lasting effect of that experience has been respect; for my parents, those in authority and other people and their property.
Children growing up without limits and discipline tend to have disrespect for all authority and reject any correction. I think that might be one of the reasons many people reject Christianity. They view it as restrictive and negative. They see the Ten Commandments from God as eight no-nos: don’t put any other god before Me; don’t make or worship any idols; don’t misuse My name; don’t murder; don’t commit adultery; don’t steal; don’t covet and don’t lie. Even the two positive commands to honor My Sabbath and keep it holy and honor your father and mother seem restrictive because they haven’t learned to respect their parents much less God.
God tells parents, “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.” (Proverbs 13:24) “Discipline your children while there is still hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.” (Proverbs 19:18)
To children He says, “You will say, ‘How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings!’” (Proverbs 5:12) Our Heavenly Father tells us, “Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good.” (Deuteronomy 8:5) “My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline and don’t be upset when he corrects you.” (Proverbs 3:11)
Love not anger is the difference between discipline and abuse. Even when my parents corrected or disciplined me I felt their love. I never felt shame, guilt or anger. The enemy condemns and shames us when we stray beyond the boundaries, but not God. “I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference.” (Revelations 3:19)