No, “one plus one equals one” is not new math. As believers, we are very familiar with the Biblical definition of marriage. “This explains why a man leaves his mother and father and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” NLT (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7 and Ephesians 5:31) But I wonder if even those of us who have experienced it fully grasp the miracle of a husband and wife becoming one. It is oneness that goes far beyond uniting in the flesh to produce children.
A lot of marital problems and stress result when the husband and/or wife try to retain personal ownership of their feelings, hopes, dreams, blessings and burdens. When we become one as God ordained, everything each of us experiences is in joint ownership and has a direct effect on both husband and wife. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be conflict or differences as the two individuals merge into one. Some of the strongest marriages I know are between husbands and wives with very different strengths and weaknesses who have embraced each other’s strengths and understand each other’s weaknesses. When the two become one, they begin a life of shared experiences, feelings, worship and service.
My favorite Cracker Barrel server found out how much I love Southern Gospel music and she gave me two CDs she burned with 39 of her favorite Southern Gospel songs. I have been blessed by every song on her playlist, but one song written and performed by Mark Bishop touched me very deeply. It reminded me of how much Carol and I shared (good and bad) throughout our 50 years of marriage. I want to share the words of that song with you.
She had a good man with livestock and good land.
God gave them daughters and sons.
They worked every day, never failing to pray
to thank God for all He had done.
Job was renowned for the faith he had found
and his wife stood strong at his side.
For years she adored him, but now she cried for him
as their faith was tested and tried.
Long nights she lay weeping; it seemed God was heaping
more suffering than they both could bear.
The workers and the farm and the children all gone,
so broken she no longer cared.
Job could find no relief. She watched his pain and grief.
All he’d lost she had lost too.
She said “Just curse God and die”, fell to her knees and cried,
there was nothing else she could do.
Just say a prayer…a prayer for Job’s wife.
But by the grace of God such heartaches could enter your life.
Don’t judge her too harshly, till you’ve known her strife.
Just say a prayer; thank God you’re not there with the care of Job’s wife.
Amidst the turmoil of life it is so easy to take the gift of marriage for granted or to dwell on petty differences instead of celebrating unity. I make it a habit to encourage every married couple I know to cherish every precious moment they share, especially on their wedding anniversary when they are already remembering the day they became one.