Earning Trust

Trust is the foundation of every strong relationship, but how do you attain it? You can’t just ask for it. When someone says, “Trust me,” our defenses go up and that is the last thing we do without a thorough investigation. So how do we become trustworthy? To answer that question make a list of everyone you trust. Now go down the list and look for common traits they all possess.

I can guarantee that everyone on your list is honest.  How can you trust someone who might be lying to you or cheating you? You can’t. So honesty is the first and most important trait of trustworthy people. I bet they are all dependable too. Honest people who aren’t there when we need them soon lose our trust. Finally, you know that each person on your list sincerely cares about you and your relationship with them.

So it is simple. To be trustworthy all you have to do is be honest, dependable and truly care about people. While that is true it certainly is not simple. We have all had someone take advantage of us in one way or another. Those in whom we have placed our trust have disappointed us. As a result, most people have built strong defenses that you must overcome in order to gain their trust and that usually takes time and a lot of effort. It isn’t enough to be honest, dependable and caring; we must prove it over time by our words and actions.

There is one way to speed up the process of earning someone’s trust. In sales it is called a referral. In other relationships we might call it a personal endorsement. It is when someone who has already earned the trust of a person vouches for your trustworthiness as well. That kind of endorsement is great, but it comes with added responsibility. You are now not only proving your trustworthiness, but the trustworthiness of the person who endorsed you.

One interesting example of such an endorsement occurred years ago when I was a pest control salesman. I inspected a prospective customer’s home and was ready to propose a solution to their problem when the gentleman told me I would have to wait for his wife to get home. Impatiently, I plopped down in a chair in their living room to wait. A little dog came over and began sniffing my pant leg, no doubt picking up the scent of my dog. I slowly reached down and began scratching him behind his ears and by the time the lady of the house came home he was contentedly curled up in my lap. Her mouth dropped open in shock. She had never seen her dog take to a stranger like that. When I presented my proposal she immediately agreed to take the service and this time her husband’s mouth dropped open in shock. He had never seen his wife agree to anything that quickly. Her best friend told her I could be trusted and that was good enough for her. I remember doing a very thorough service in order to protect her dog’s reputation as a good judge of character.

Now that we know more about gaining the trust of those around us, how does that apply to our relationship with God? Trusting God is easy. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) He is not only honest; He is truth.  God is also dependable. “Trust in the lord always, for the lord God is the eternal rock.” (Isaiah 26:4) Finally, God cares about us. “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love. God is love, and all who live in God live in love, and God lives in them.” (I John 4:16) God not only cares about us, He is love.

Only one big question remains. Can God trust us? He certainly can’t trust our sinful nature. When we put our faith in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ for our salvation, repent of our sins and receive the Holy Spirit within us, Jesus then presents us to God the Father with His personal endorsement because we are now his adopted brother or sister in God’s family.  When God looks at us He sees the righteousness of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit and He can trust us to produce good fruit.